Breaking Taboos in Syria

By Ghinwa Akiki

September 6, 2024

Maya sat in the conference hall of the sweltering Syrian monastery with her husband and 16-year-old daughter. As a church leader, she was excited to hear, for the first time in her life, a qualified professional explaining how to address sensitive topics like porn and sexting to her daughter and church members.  

With her were 102 other church leaders from across Syria. Despite the lack of air conditioning that hot July day, no one complained about the heat. The training they had come to attend was a getaway for them, a three-day escape from their daily hardships. Attendees were happy to meet other Christians from around the country, and they were eager, like Maya, to listen to what the team from Dar Manhal Al Hayat, a ministry of Thimar, had come to share in July about taboo topics. The conference hosted by DMAH focused on helping youth leaders address issues like sex and sexting, pornography, substance abuse, internet addiction, and cyberbullying. It was an unprecedented event, as many attendees heard about these issues for the first time.  

“Syria is a very conservative society,” Maya later said. “We don’t discuss these topics in churches, not even in families. I spoke with my daughter very briefly about them, because I didn’t want to give the wrong information. My parents never spoke to me about this, so I don’t have the knowledge or experience to talk about it.”  

Maya grew up in Syria. She joined a church five years ago, and shortly later, her daughter and husband joined as well. They soon became involved in various church ministries. Maya teaches children, teenagers, and young adults, and is also involved with mothers’ and women’s ministries.   

In a country where many children were born amid the sounds of explosions, the terror of missiles at night, and the uncertainty of tomorrow, Maya recognizes the exceptional challenges that young people face. Like their peers elsewhere, teenagers and young adults seek to escape the draining hours of the day and the societal pressures faced by Christian believers. But in the process, many often fall into traps like internet addiction, gaming, and smoking.  

Believers in Syria face many of the same challenges as Christians elsewhere in the world. But after more than 13 years of conflict, many church leaders lack the resources and even the knowledge to help young people navigate issues. The emigration of senior church leaders has widened that gap.   

Most of the people who attended the DMAH conference were between the ages of 20 and 40. Many are just beginning service in ministry, particularly with children and youth. 

The only training Maya received from her church before the conference was a brief session on protecting children from strangers. No one ever mentioned that children might be facing other challenges or abuses.  

“I was listening carefully throughout the sessions while making sure my daughter was listening to a qualified Christian psychologist,” Maya said. “Many people felt uncomfortable, and I understand.” 

Enaam, a clinical psychologist, traveled with the DMAH team from Beirut to southwest Syria to provide expert insight to attendees. She and the DMAH team brought several resources with them, including a recent Arabic translation of Behind Closed Doors by Jessica Peck. DMAH had used the book as the basis for a similar conference in Lebanon just days prior. With its focus on social and mental health challenges faced by teachers, the book provided the team with a platform for discussion. “Problems in the darkness only grow bigger, while those that come to light can be solved,” Enaam said. “There is danger in silence.” 

After sessions, people approached Enaam for more information. She spoke to some attendees about premarital sex and talked with others about sexual abuse. She addressed the culture of honor-related violence, encouraging parents to think and respond differently when their children make wrong decisions. Some pastors were shocked to hear such topics discussed publicly, but they were also thankful. They wanted to have more resources to address such issues in churches. “People were eager to talk and share, and they lined up just to talk with us,” Enaam said. “They felt that our team was a bank of information and were grateful that we listened to their needs. Some have even expressed how Thimar has empowered them. They said that such a conference has never happened in Syria.” 

Part of the lack of knowledge on such topics stems from the failures of an education system broken by conflict, Enaam noted. But there are also state and societal factors too. Seeking help from a psychologist is highly stigmatized, and though many attendees expressed a need to see one, they said they were stopped by their families, who accused them of being insane. 

Through this conference, DMAH hoped to help break such stigma while advancing its mission of equipping and resourcing local churches to faithfully and biblically serve their communities. Enaam and other team members were encouraged by the feedback of attendees, who expressed a desire to have follow-up meetings and online training.  

“This training removed barriers,” Maya said. “Now it’s easier to discuss these topics. For the first time, my daughter shared about her personal life and challenges with me, and we talked about things we never did before.”